BCF News & Articles
How to Create Harmony in your Home - Suggestion No 5 - Boundaries
Written by Alan   

7 May 2020

Without boundaries you risk living in a quarrelsome home as each inmate does whatever they want and can always say they did not know of the boundary, rule or expectation.

When young children experience Boundaries for the first time they begin to learn about the real world and will find it easier to adapt at school and in later life.

Setting boundaries helps to ensure that relationships are mutually respectful, appropriate and caring.

How to set Boundaries

1. Invite all family members to a Family Meeting (this was covered in Suggestion No 2) to agree the Rules of Our Home (Suggestion No 1) and to agree a set of Boundaries.

2. Once these Rules of Our Home and Boundaries have been agreed write them up on a poster and place it in a prominent place where everyone will see it every day.

3. Ensure Boundaries and Rules of Our Home are clear and unambiguous.

4. Agree the Consequences for breaking Rules of Our Home and Boundaries at your Family Meeting.

Most children love routine and predictability and become confused by, or take advantage of, chaos and gaps

It is not possible to over emphasise the importance of consistency in parenting children. Children see sudden or inconsistent shifts in parenting decisions or actions as unfair.

They do however appreciate knowing in advance what the consequences of good and poor behaviour will be. This ensures that when they consider breaking a rule or breaching a boundary they know in advance what the consequence will be. Then they can evaluate in advance whether it is worthwhile.

This is a key element of disciplining children as you can point out that they knew what consequence of breaking a Rule of Our Home or Boundary was and that

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How to Create Harmony in your Home - Suggestion # 4 - Boundaries
Written by Alan   

30th April 2020

Lockdown has forced many parents to start working from home, bringing along with it a new set of do’s and don’ts.

The reality of having to juggle work commitments, a hectic family life, and ensuring that schoolwork is completed, can be daunting.

If there are no clear boundaries between work time and family time you run the risk of becoming a quarrelsome family.

Here are a few tips to help you keep harmony in your home and a balance between family time and work time.

  1. Have an agreed and set routine for the day and week but be flexible because life happens.

  2. Create a non-verbal “Do not disturb” sign such as wearing a silly hat when you are on an important phone call with your boss or a client.

  3. Don’t over-plan your day or week – ensure there is plenty of free play and reading time for yourself and your children.

  4. If you have a garden, take advantage of it and try to spend an hour there as a family each day.

  5. Be realistic about how many office hours you hope to work each day or week.

  6. Be realistic about how much your children can achieve each day.
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How to Create Harmony in your Home - Suggestion No 3 - Rules of the Home
Written by Alan   

22 April 2020

Wow! We have again been inundated with compliments, suggestions and questions arising from the public service practical parenting skills suggestions we have shared via social media, LinkedIn, our website and through emails to our 900 Friends of the Billion Child Foundation around the world.

Our third suggestion to help you and all your friends and relations maintain harmony in the home at this difficult time is to develop Rules of the Home.

Rules of the Home which are developed by all who share your home at a Family Meeting will help you make a big step forward in creating harmony in your home.

You will find an example of a Rules of the Home chart at the bottom of this newsflash.

Next week's practical parenting skill will demonstrate how to use the Four Steps of Praising.

The practical parenting skills suggestions we share with you are directly from our Win-Win Parenting Skills Programme which has been attended by over 257,000 parents.

Strong families are the backbone of society. Please forward this Creating Harmony in your Home suggestion to your friends and extended family.

Please send your feedback and suggestions directly to me.

The oldest Mum to attend our Win-Win Parenting Programme was 54. One of her children was 31 and the other two 27 and 28. She was the family slave, washing their clothes, preparing all meals, making their beds, cleaning the house, doing all the shopping, emptying the garbage and she had a full time job as well. If she asked her children for help, they complained or said they would do it later, but never or seldom did so.

After attending her first Win-Win Parenting workshop she went home and

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How to Create Harmony in your Home - Suggestion # 2
Written by Alan   

15th April, 2020

Wow!  We have been inundated with compliments, suggestions and questions arising from Creating Harmony in your Home: Suggestion # 1 published last week which related to how to create harmony using a Reward Chart.

Our second suggestion to help you and all your friends and relations at this difficult time is that, even if you are only two adults sharing a home, you should have a regular - perhaps weekly - family meeting.

Having a regular family meeting will empower your family to become “we” focused instead of Mum and Dad calling the shots.

In addition, family meetings will:

  • Enhance harmonious family relationships and bonding.
  • Improve morale of the whole family in these difficult times.
  • Enhance behaviour of the house – “this is our house.”
  • Ensure that your home is a place where all family members share, care and feel safe.

A detailed explanation of how to make family meetings a success, what to discuss, etc follows below.

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BCF Parenting skills to get you through the lockdown in harmony
Written by Alan   

2 April 2020

Reward charts offer a way to establish improved harmony in the home while setting up children aged 3-7 with the opportunity to become winners.

It doesn't take much time to create a reward chart each week.

The payback is constructive behaviour and less friction.

Every child is different so no single parenting tool works with all children, but you will never know till you try it.

 
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